An Arequipa city map still sits on the bottom of the pool, though the left overs of peoples one night mistakes and unwanted decisions no longer float in the once murky waters of the pool which seem to be less polluted these days. Maybe its because I see the pool as a representation of my brain which is starting to clear and feel less murky, so I see the pool in the same way.
A small ray of sunshine has managed to find its way through the thick confusion of my crash landing into dirty waters of what was, and guided me to the top where I have finally come up for air, inhaling as much oxygen into my thoughts and lungs as possible. I let it run through my veins pumping clarity and focus back into my blood stream and brain waves. I have allowed myself to walk back into silence's open door of tranquility and solitude.
Solitude, sounds lonely, and I was scared to go back to it, to let go of the moments and the love of the leftovers that I was dropped into. Even though I was scraping the ground and bumping into random things I almost felt that doing that was better...because I felt if I accepted the truth it would all be lost, lost in the other forgotten memories and trinkets of others. Letting go can be hard, especially when you are the one left to sort through the rubble and keep what needs to be kept.
When your havoc stops and you are dropped, confusion makes it difficult to make sense of anything leaving you questioning everything. There is so much scattered around you that you don't know where to begin. Sorting seems impossible, the thought of going through everything and trying to find your way through the maze feels never ending. Giving up seems to be the easiest option, but the thought of continuing in a murky vision is unappealing enough to make you push through it to find that one little ray of light, that one little ray of hope to lead you to clean, fresh oxygen.
My brain is still a little cloudy...but I suppose after coming out of a dirty pool we will all come out with a little bit of a film of dust on us, and I'm ok with that. Its a film, not a burden of leftovers but a dusting of beautiful memories, the ones that I am meant to keep.
The sobriety of focus and tranquility is an incredible feeling...and the colors of my feather seem to have brightened up again and instead of scraping the bottom I have lifted off the ground trying out different gusts to see which one is going to take me where I need to go.
The overtired playlist still plays, but the sounds of dice and a countdown has subsided almost into silence. It is sad because the life and vibe of our havoc is gone yet being able to breath is a relief so it can be confusing...but I know accepting the silence and tranquility is reality, and reality and I get along. I'm still a little sad as I deeply miss my feathers that have blown away, but now instead of endless water filled moments with my eyes, a smile escapes my lips when I remember.
Remembering is great but to live in extinct moments is not the way to live and I can't miss out on other havocs with other beautiful feathers out there.
So with a smile, I lightly dance on the wind ready to get on the gust that is meant for me because this feather is ready.
Stoy en control total de mi Vida.
And to my ray of light....my parents...thank you, you were there when I took my first breath and you gave me another when I needed it ...I am grateful x
- My Beautiful Life -
A small ray of sunshine has managed to find its way through the thick confusion of my crash landing into dirty waters of what was, and guided me to the top where I have finally come up for air, inhaling as much oxygen into my thoughts and lungs as possible. I let it run through my veins pumping clarity and focus back into my blood stream and brain waves. I have allowed myself to walk back into silence's open door of tranquility and solitude.
Solitude, sounds lonely, and I was scared to go back to it, to let go of the moments and the love of the leftovers that I was dropped into. Even though I was scraping the ground and bumping into random things I almost felt that doing that was better...because I felt if I accepted the truth it would all be lost, lost in the other forgotten memories and trinkets of others. Letting go can be hard, especially when you are the one left to sort through the rubble and keep what needs to be kept.
When your havoc stops and you are dropped, confusion makes it difficult to make sense of anything leaving you questioning everything. There is so much scattered around you that you don't know where to begin. Sorting seems impossible, the thought of going through everything and trying to find your way through the maze feels never ending. Giving up seems to be the easiest option, but the thought of continuing in a murky vision is unappealing enough to make you push through it to find that one little ray of light, that one little ray of hope to lead you to clean, fresh oxygen.
My brain is still a little cloudy...but I suppose after coming out of a dirty pool we will all come out with a little bit of a film of dust on us, and I'm ok with that. Its a film, not a burden of leftovers but a dusting of beautiful memories, the ones that I am meant to keep.
The sobriety of focus and tranquility is an incredible feeling...and the colors of my feather seem to have brightened up again and instead of scraping the bottom I have lifted off the ground trying out different gusts to see which one is going to take me where I need to go.
The overtired playlist still plays, but the sounds of dice and a countdown has subsided almost into silence. It is sad because the life and vibe of our havoc is gone yet being able to breath is a relief so it can be confusing...but I know accepting the silence and tranquility is reality, and reality and I get along. I'm still a little sad as I deeply miss my feathers that have blown away, but now instead of endless water filled moments with my eyes, a smile escapes my lips when I remember.
Remembering is great but to live in extinct moments is not the way to live and I can't miss out on other havocs with other beautiful feathers out there.
So with a smile, I lightly dance on the wind ready to get on the gust that is meant for me because this feather is ready.
Stoy en control total de mi Vida.
And to my ray of light....my parents...thank you, you were there when I took my first breath and you gave me another when I needed it ...I am grateful x
- My Beautiful Life -
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